Arranged marriage – chapter 1

How does an Indian arranged marriage happen?

Once the girl/guy agrees for the wedding, the horoscope is sent to the astrologer. Astrologer confirms if the time is good for the girl/guy to get married based on the time she/he was born. If the stars are at the right place, the horoscope gets into the marriage market along with the bio-data of the candidates. A usual bio-data includes height, weight, hobby, blood group.

Initially, the profiles are kept away from matrimonial sites. Aunties and uncles do the networking and push the profiles forward.” My cousin’s daughter who is working in Bangalore is looking for a groom” they will tell in poojas and family occasions.Phone numbers of the parents are exchanged. Once an eligible candidate from the similar background is  traced, horoscopes are exchanged. This continues for few days for some, for years for others. My horoscope stayed in marriage market only for a week or two.

That’s how P (my husband, what a heavy word!) came into my life. What a boring start!? Well, it was not too bad to be honest. P and me grew up few streets away from each other and yet we managed not to meet for more than two decades. My dad knew his dad, my mom knew his mom, my bro in law knew him and his bro, well in short they all knew each other.  I wanted to know him for an year before getting married (also due to multiple other constraints ), i knew him for 365 days before vowing to become his other half .

We were given the privilege of 3 months time to decide on whether we are good enough for each other. That is comparatively a non-orthodox way of arranged marriage. Some people are given few minutes to decide, some people are given an year to decide, time frame differs with community and the mind set of the elder generation. Irrespective of the time frame, the process remains the same. Once the girl and guy agrees, things get out of their hand. Parents, uncles and aunties communicate on when, where and how the wedding blast should happen.

In my story, multiple visa (family settled across the world) issues decided the date. Date and convenience decided the venue and we had a traditional Iyer wedding since we were from the same community.


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