Tag Archives: life

The idea of quitting first job

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The idea of quitting your first job without a real back-up

Okay, the title says it all. I’m thinking of quitting my ‘not-so-bad’ job, which pays enough too!

On any topic the thinking part happens from two perspectives, the positive mind and the negative one, the optimist and the pessimist. Let’s call the optimist Oprah and pessimist Pisa 😉

Oprah: you never really enjoyed the work, may be this will lead you to what is actually meant for you.

Pisa: But, what if this leads nowhere,. What if the next pay-cheque is the last one?

Oprah: Chill, don’t exaggerate; I’m in a better state than where I was. I am progressing, that’s all that matters.

Pisa: Confidence is good but, the above thought is definitely over-confidence. Why quit the hard earned job for personal life, career matters and you know that too.

Oprah: Career matters, it will start again afresh. I can find the same job anytime but, what if there is a better one out there for me, which will comprehend the personal life.

To add oil on fire, Pisa will remind you of the dark days after college when you had to attend interviews every other week. Oprah will say, “With no experience you joined one of the finest firms in India.”

On and on, this goes. Swinging back and forth. Sometimes the optimist wins and sometimes the pessimist, it’s tiring to think so much. And people say ‘do what you want to do’. Well wish I knew what I wanted. 😛

I never knew and I never will know and I’m okay not knowing.

Goes on and on…

So I decided to stop listening to either of them and start going to gym.

Then bam, I fell and sprained by feet. Doctor said “Don’t strain your foot until it is completely healed”.

Now I am planning to read, let me see how oprah/pisa is going to stop me from doing that. Yea!

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That lost feeling

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I still remember my first journey alone. It was from the local bus station five stops away from my home. My dad picked me from school and somehow decided that I should take a bus home. He literally threw me on bus. I desperately said I can’t do it. (That was an era in which ten year olds didn’t carry mobile phones.) He assured me that it was a direct bus and all I had to do was get down at the right stop.

I was not convinced. But, I didn’t have an option. I am not the kind of girl who cries in front of people. I was not ready to lose my brave face. I preferred getting lost over confessing to dad that I was afraid. So I climbed the bus took ticket and felt “lost”. I was so sure that I wouldn’t reach home that evening. But, surprising myself I got down at the right stop. Walked briskly home feeling as if I won an award for bravery :P.

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(In a world in which it is hard to get lost physically I am definitely lost mentally. Maybe, I was concentrating way too much time on not getting physically lost that now I am lost inside myself! Is it just me? Anyways so where was I? Yea, the bus. )

I feel like I am in that bus all over again, I have no idea if I will get down at the right stop. This time to make it worse I am not even sure if it is the right bus. Twelve years back I couldn’t tolerate that lost feeling for a couple of minutes and now I have been feeling that for months. Well the one thing that didn’t change is the way I see it. I am still not ready to lose that brave face ;)! I know I am lost. I know I may end up at the wrong place and will have to walk all the way back. As much I hate this uncertainty, I love the challenges it make me accept. I can’t wait for the day I will briskly open that door of my home feeling proud. I know it is around the corner, may be this time I have to wait longer.  (Being optimistic is part of the game 😉 )

By the way if you are interested in hiring me, let me know.  😛

‘Real Questions’

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They are two kinds of people who ask ‘the real questions’ in life, ones who share the road of your life and the ones who live along the sides of road. The better you feel while answering the first type, the worse you feel while answering the second. The difference between ones who care and ones who don’t care, the difference between the ones who wants to give a hand and the ones who wants to point their finger.

Well, this is not something I am concerned about. I am concerned about to whom I ask the ‘real questions’ to! Why is it so easy to ask a ‘real question’ to the person we hardly know while we avoid asking the obvious questions to the people who we share our lives with? It is so much easier to ask the person to whom you just talk “Are you happy? / Did you like it? ” when you avoid asking the same to your best friend. Is it because you don’t want to hear the worst or is it because you think you know the answer?

Maybe, we ignore the real questions for so long that we forget how we used to ask or maybe, we reach a point where we know that we don’t have to ask to share! The last person I asked “You look sad today, what happened?” is someone I say Hi-Bye in corridor and I can’t really remember the person who asked me the same last time.

Most who claims to know me only knows the “answers” which used to be. The “questions” itself changed down the road and it’s easy to walk along listening but the hard to walk along asking. It has always been hard for me to ask the right questions. I justify myself saying “What if that is something they don’t want to talk about?”. I love swallowing the ‘real Qs’ and enjoying the side views until I realize that the right moment to ask has just passed. But, it is true that only people who has asked the ‘right questions’ to me has stayed longer on the road, sharing the journey. I just try to find people who seem comfortable saying even if I don’t ask (that doesn’t really work). Just that no one really answers the ‘real questions’ unless you ask them. Maybe, I should just ask more questions, even to myself.

Good old school days

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I was super bored one day and was having a casual chat with a friend in Facebook. Some how we came to the topic reunion and planned one!! Neither she nor I thought it to become this successful. Had an awesome day. Since we needed special permission to conduct it in school we arranged it in a public place.

Meeting old friends is like a walk to past. Met most of them after a good gap of two years. “Hey, you have lost weight”, “Wow, your hair looks amazing” were the initial topic of conversation eventually we all became ourselves. Lots of photographs to carry for a life time is how i would like to think about it. Day was made special by every single person who came. My class was my family at some point in my life, seeing all the happy faces, I realized I miss my school days. Am I making it dramatic. Well, it really was that way. Try having a reunion with all your best friends of past and you will experience the same.

My college is the best place in the world. I have the some rare gems as my friends in college still, school life has its part. It’s not about friends or incidents it’s about the people you grew up with. It’s about the people who saw your  first pimple :P. Had a rocking day. I want to meet every one again. I wish I could go back to school for just one day wearing my uniforms, plating my hair in both sides, polished shoes; attending the class of my favorite English ma’am. Well, that’s not going to happen and it’s not supposed to happen.

The first season of my life gone! Childhood 😦 Moving into youth and life is as good as it is supposed to be.